Creativity by design

Flowing like a tide, not running like a stream

One thing I’ve always noticed about myself as a neurodivergent is my creativity ebbs and flows. It has peaks and valleys.

But my brain often wants to put a work hat on it and send it off to plug away consistently.

That inner power struggle has always been an obstacle in producing regular consistent progress.

I used to think of my lack of consistent motivation as a problem to be fixed, but now I recognize it’s just the natural flow or rhythm of my own body.

Working on the self-hypnosis work and seeing the progress has me very inspired to create and I have pages and pages of plans…

But I also am already running a business, working a job, working on myself deeply within this work, dealing with chronic pain and illness, and just trying to actually live😂

It’s a lot. I’m so thankful for the fullness, truly, but I also know I need time, I need stillness and reflection, and I just, need to go at my own pace without restriction.

As much as I cognitively know all of that, I still feel the pins and needles of resistance to my slowness. The hustle behind my flow. The doubt bubbling behind the passing time…

But today I heard someone say this and it really helped. They said whenever you feel shame around something, ask yourself, how is that shame benefiting you?

So I’m reminding myself that, I’m creating art and that takes time. That no one is holding me to a timeline other than my internalized productivity monitor. And, that what I’m doing has purpose and value as does my need to just live sometimes.